The would be hook-up?

The first gay I met up with from the “internet” happened to be my scariest encounter ever, which is saying something, cause I’ve been to a dungeon.

First of all, I was really nervous. Second, he was a lot older. Third, he lived in my neighborhood which at first I thought may be a good idea and then later realized it could potentially be a disaster. I wouldn’t want to see him on the street if things didn’t go so well!

I circled the block around the place of our meeting twice before getting the balls to walk in. I technically didn’t even get the balls to walk in. I stood outside and had hung up the phone with my best friend, who encouraged me to give it a shot. "Whats the worst that could happen?" she said.

I was standing outside the bar/lounge and he came out for a cigarette and spotted me. Damn! Too late. It was okay, I figured it was better this way than wandering into an unfamiliar place looking for someone I only knew to be wearing an Abercrombie hoodie. Strange, right? Oh the rituals of gay men… I didn’t get it.

Anyway, we shake hands and exchange pleasantries, and he invited me inside for a drink. I declined the drink and we sat down. I deliberately chose a table between us cause I felt like I didn’t really want to get close to the guy. His name was Peter, medium build shaved head and not terrible cute but it would do. I was immediately turned off, though, because he seemed a lot more nervous than I was. It was my first time, I was surprised that he was so freaked out… I wondered if he had taken anything…

Anyway, over the too large table we made small talk, what we both did and how things were going. This was before I had really “come out” beyond telling a couple people that I was bi. I didn’t have or want to share too much, really, I was beyond the pleasantries and had already decided that nothing would happen. After about 20 minutes of awkward conversation in which I tried my damnedest to portray that I wasn't interested in the slightest, he invited me back to his place.

“Uhhh… no thanks, you know, on second thought, I’ve really gotta get up early tomorrow.” I bolted out of there like nobody's business!