New Years Eve resolutions?

2010 has come and gone (almost).

It's been quite an eventful year. I feel like I've posted to this blog more, in the second half at least, and I'm trying to set myself up for a strong 2011.

In that vein, there is one thing that I usually don't do around this time of year...resolutions.

I don't know why, really. Maybe it's the fact that I am completely annoyed by the resolution crowd at the gym, taking up space with their huffing and puffing and barely working out. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of not achieving my resolutions and getting down on myself. Maybe it's because, in essence, the new year doesn't really mean too much in the whole of my life, as it is just another day.

Regardless of why I haven't in the past, this year I've decided to make a couple of resolutions.

In no particular order, here they are...

• Take lunch to work twice a week
• Get out of bed when I first wake up, even if it's before my alarm
• Practice my Rosetta Stone Spanish Levels 1-3 twice a week
• Write and complete something once a week through May, twice a week after
• Buy a guitar and learn to play it
• Visit a museum, gallery or lecture at least once a month

I've posted them to the back of the door of my apartment. Most of them are about self improvement, but some are focused on having discipline. I feel like that is the one part that is really missing out of my life right now &mdash the discipline to really pursue my ambitions. I guess in itself, making resolutions is an attempt to remind yourself that discipline is necessary to achieve every goal, no matter how small.

Whatever the reason, I've made them. I guess now is the time to man up and figure it all out!

Quote of the day: 'Sexercise'

From the following article on pandas, a particular fascination of mine it appears...

"The innovative methods used to encourage the pandas to procreate – including, artificial insemination, special diets, 'sexercise' classes and even Viagra – are the subject of a BBC documentary narrated by Sir David Attenborough to be screened this week."

The story also has an adorable set of photographs of researchers dressing up as pandas in order to avoid imprinting the cubs. Furries FTW!

Cliff Lee headlines

Okay. I haven't done a post about them yet, but I am a die hard Phillies fan. When they lost to the Giants in October, I was very sad. It took me about a week, but watching Cliff Lee pitch for the Rangers made it a little easier...

Last night, around midnight, I received a text from my cousin - "cliff lee is a phillie!!!!!!!!!"

My response - "Wtf?"

I honestly have not been following much since they were essentially out of it during the winter meetings, but apparently ownership and Ruben Amaro Jr. made a special exception in the organizations already high salary budget (with just around $150 already committed).

Numerous sports writers have already covered this, so I won't go any further, but I wanted to provide a list of headlines from around the web. Some are clever...some aren't.

Cliff Lee Chooses (Brotherly) Love over Money

Cliff Motherfucking Lee —

Brother-Lee love! Lefty ace picks Philly

Bodley: Phils right a wrong, seize the moment

Yanks miss out on Lee as lefty heads to Philly

Sources: Lee jilts suitors to join Phils

Did Lee’s wife nix Yanks over nasty fans?

I heart everything about this story.

Also, rest in peace, Ambassador Holbrooke. Your service will not be forgotten.

Thankful for home

Last week I went home for Thanksgiving.

I walked off the platform of the R5 in Thornedale to my dad and dog, as usual. Cedes, my dog, wriggled in happiness at seeing me. Her presence lifts my heart because I know she has and will always love me no matter what.

In the car, my dad and I discussed current events like North Korea and the elections, as usual. Through the mundane conversation, I could sense that he really does enjoy being the first to see me off the train, waiting by the truck with the dog in the parking lot.

But something was a little different.

I didn't feel like I had to hide who I was...even if it wasn't relevant to the conversation. There was an unspoken understanding between us, I was still who I have always been to him.

We got home and my mom had left out dinner for me, as usual. It was no longer hot, so I put the plate of hot dogs, beans and cauliflower in the microwave and we sat down to talk. We talked about work, the dog, my brother and his kids, her sisters and my cousin's families, news that she had forgotten to include in our daily e-mails.

But again, something was a little different.

I felt like now, even if unsaid, she had a better idea of what my life was like in New York. She asked, quietly, if I was seeing anyone. I laughed and said no, that I was single and happy about it. I don't quite think they're ready to be regaled with stories of dating...let alone sex.

After coming out to my parents on the last day of my previous visit home, it didn't feel like a great burden was lifted off my shoulders, there was no instant sense of relief. I let them glimpse into a world that I had guarded closely and came back to the life I've made in New York. I brush over it quickly now, but at the time coming out had left me emotionally ragged and raw.

I was nervous about opening up those emotions again, of visiting home. But settling into the usual routine slowly put my nerves at ease, like the warmth you feel getting into bed as your body heat spreads under a heavy blanket.

I really was home, and they still accepted and loved me unconditionally. And it wasn't just Cedes this time.