A post-St. Patrick's Day conversation

It's almost like we're grown ups!

me: and in to work before 10pm
on the day after st patrick's day!
this is like...
it's like...
er..
10 am
tom: yay for us!
me: of course i was getting texts from grant from like 3-5am
tom: same here
the concept of 9 to 5 work still eludes him
me: we just had a ridiculous fire drill to inform us of how to react to an envelope chock-ful-o' anthrax
tom: fun!
me: yeah those old epa guys are adorable
tom: why would people be sending emarketer anthrax?
me: corporate sabotage?
I am a very important person, Thomas.
i know terry also loves going to italy and speaks italian
tom: can't you have your assistant winkles open your mail for you?
me: I can
and do.
tom: it's probably him sending you the anthrax
me: bastard... i never even thought of that
tom: behind that innocent iowa facade lurks the sinister soul of a rebellious employee
he's probably putting laxative in your coffee too
me: damnit... the catch-22 of assistants.
they're all greedy little sociopaths underneath. just like in showgirls
tom: haha
showgirls?
i didn't see that reference coming
me: Only the classic picture of the understudy usurping the star!
tom: yes, it is modern day shakespeare
me: i do prefer the vh1 version
with the drawn on bras and panties
tom: well gilt group came through on the swimsuits today, but unfortunately the guys aren't that great
me: boo
me: oh, those vilebrequin shorts are all rehashes
tom: it's going to be swimsuit season soon too!
me: haha
tom: i need to shave my legs!
me: ...eiw

...ten minutes later...

tom: at least i didn't say back

Classy, Tom. Classy.